Dark
Okay, I know, it is not fair at all for the picture, I can't help. But think about me who had to ride my bike under the cold rain of Lund to come here at the university and write this post because my laptop does not want to start...
Amelie and Nicolas left this morning for Göteborg where they'll stay two days and fly back to France. It's been such a cool week-end, even if we haven't done so many exciting things. It was just good to have them for a while, talking about the course of our lives. Saturday has been very lazy, but around 8pm, we finally moved out with Nico, as Amelie found interesting the fact that we should spend some times just Nico and I, it was a long time ago. We joined some buddies to watch Milan AC vs Inter (3-4) and few beers. The others moved to a nation afterward and as Nico couldn't get in, we just went to Ariman, a very nice pub down by the cathedral. We got there around 11pm, sat down at the bar, talked and talked and talked, remembering good times, explaining future plans, joking most of the time, drinking and drinking again, and it was 2... Just back home under the rain, two friends shared a moment like they know, when eyes sometimes tell more than words, when body just listen your heart...
Sunday, we took my car and drove around, threw the lakes and forests, trying to catch an elk or two. We went til the sea, where the cold wind was reminding us the season.
On the way back, the sun disappeared behing the horizon. The clock of my car indicated 16.30.
Stranger of my blog:1 - Questions about life:0 :-) Thank you anyway. Today I wrote some emails, and i even bought an envelop and a stamp to write to someone that I haven't been writting in a very long time. It is just a matter of voluntee.
PS: I hope you all like surprises...
Ouin
You never gonna believe me. I have a system failure on my laptop. The pic is stuck on it...
Let me two or three days to fix it and you'll have the pic.
And no, it's not Marl...
And I'll come back later in the day in order to tell more things.
Would you smile again for me?
We just finished the course "Ideas..." on Thursday, to start our new class on Friday. Not even one or two days to rest just a little bit. Why?? Because because. LUMES:1 - Lolo:0
Maryam birthday yesterday. Before to join the others, Amélie Nico and I had dinner at home and of course, we had a typical french "apéritif" as they brought me two bottles of pastis. After joining, red wine and vodka, good stories and nice cake, red eyes and big buzz. Alcohol:1 - Lolo:0
I have a new question. Why do people tell things that they know they won't do? Like: I will write you soon, or you should expect an email in the next days. And that never comes. The worse in the story is that sometimes I am part of those "people". Interesting question I guess... But no answer, one more ime. Questions about life: 1 - Lolo: 0
Do you want a picture of me and my new girlfriend on my next post?
Entarté !!!!
I can't help, sorry...
Those kind of things should happen more often, especially to him.
Cheers
法国吻
Camille just gave me some samples on MSN. The band (or guy, i don't know) is called RJD2, and it's cool.
I finished to write my last assignment for the course "Ideas behing society, economy and environment". I'm done. I told frieds that I would stop smoking after this course. last saturday night, as we were leaving Malmö around 1am, I looked at Reshmi, and gave her my packet. I quited. It is hard, very hard, but I keep on, I fight hard!
Amélie and Nico shoed up yesterday night at 9.37. I'm so glad they are here. tomorrow, trip to Kopenhagen.
Okay, no real inspiration those days, a good sign that I m going good...
You never know what can happen dear
After one hour and a half, I finally found it. I offer you Rhesus last summer, in live from the festival "Les vieilles charrues", with the song "Talk Talk Talk"...
Enjoy...
My favourite poem...
Le dormeur du val
C'est un trou de verdure où chante une rivière,
Accrochant follement aux herbes des haillons
D'argent ; où le soleil, de la montagne fière,
Luit : c'est un petit val qui mousse de rayons.
Un soldat jeune, bouche ouverte, tête nue,
Et la nuque baignant dans le frais cresson bleu,
Dort ; il est étendu dans l'herbe, sous la nue,
Pâle dans son lit vert où la lumière pleut.
Les pieds dans les glaïeuls, il dort. Souriant comme
Sourirait un enfant malade, il fait un somme :
Nature, berce-le chaudement : il a froid.
Les parfums ne font pas frissonner sa narine ;
Il dort dans le soleil, la main sur sa poitrine,
Tranquille. Il a deux trous rouges au côté droit.
Arthur Rimbaud (1854-1891)
Water drop
Although everybody got confused yesterday night about which bus we had to take and at what time, and where (bus-stop and not bus-station), we were finally on our way to Malmö. Zeynep, our host, picked us up in town. We walked for a while threw the streets of the city, with a lot of animation all around. I felt very good, I miss a lot this sensation of rush, the city, when you can get out anytime and go to the tiny bar around the corner and meet different kind of characters. On the way, some stopped in a small shop and bought some ice-creams, and then, after a 10-minutes walk, we finally got at her place. We stayed for a while outside, under the light of few candles. We stayed in the middle of a kind of garden lost between the buildings, with a unique and giant tree in the center. Sitting on bench and other chairs, I spent most of the first part of this party talking with Summer(alias Xiaoqian). When it got too cold, we went inside her flat, very small but so lovely and warm, reflecting totally Zeynep. Around 1, it was time to got home. I ride down town to get a kebab, and back home!
Don't ask me why I put this picture (the first picture of the blog by the way).
Lazy Sunday... I love it!
Ces petits riens qui font nos grands moments
Cultural differences... I don't know if it's because my roomies are from different countries, or if I don't have the same sense of humor, but I have to admit it is sometimes hard to share a place with three totally different persons. I really try to do my best, even when I don't understand a joke or a reaction of someone, or whatever. Yesterday, I proposed to have a dinner all together, I mean the four of us, to have some good times together. I can't tell that all went wrong, but almost... The worse is that I am not even sure they feel the same as me (I am quite sure it's been okay for them). Well, this is part of the game, sometimes you understand, sometimes you don't, sometimes you feel lost. It is just a matter of respect.
Oh, by the way I took a decision. I won't change my tee-shirt again when Carol will tell me to do so because Madame doesn't like it.
After this "folk" dinner, I joined the other guys of LUMES for Vi Sa's birthday party. Everybody was there, as usually.
I sat down in a café yesterday afternoon with Theo (Greece) and Eduardo (Mexico). Coffes, cigarettes, good friends... I didn't need anything else. The conversation started, I don't how and why, about how police act in our respective countries and ended up, certainly one hour after (or more) about the mystery of women. Between, we talked about archeology, the Pantheon, this pyramid in Mexico which for the summer equinoxe has a snake coming out off shadows, Atlantis, CIA and other stuffs. Pretty interesting !!!
I love you like a chocolate cake
I got up around 10.31. After a breakfast made of two pieces of bread (one cover of cheese and jam, the other of nutella) plus some muesli and a warm shower, I turned on my laptop and waited the 10 minutes before everything is loaded and you can start to use it without waiting hours each time you press a button. Two new messages on my hotmail box. One from Sebastien, entitled "Objet : Graaaaaaaande Nouvelle !!!". What was the "great new"? Then he was explaining how, few weeks ago, he put his knee on the ground, looked at his girlfriend straight in the eyes and tell her he wanted to marry her. I was almost crying reading this email. Because this guy, yes, this guy, he is the geatest guy on Earth! Congratulations rockman!!!
The cake party was fantastic. I only supervised and gave the grades. A ++ for everyone. And stomachache for me ;)
I finally created my first music... I took out an old text I wrote which I forgot about, and I just heard the music in my head. Then I played. Cool.
Sweden is cold.
Fred, welcome back buddy, I missed you a lot. Grouin.
Empty...
I feel empty...
Look: two weeks spent between books, library, laptop, only sleeping few hours every night, even going at the university on Sunday to fill my brain with ununderstandable (is it a word?) sentences about a topic that I don't get a single point. And suddenly, nothing. NOTHING. I come back at home in the afternoon, take a nap, turn around, nothing else to do that watching TV or listening music or sleeping or smoking or... It is like I miss the big stress of fucking deadlines with 2000 words or more, finish to read the three chapters for tomorrow because if I don't, I'll have to get up much earlier. I am in a lazyness state as never, not even motivated to go to the supermarcket, not even motivated to move my ass and make my laundry. Oh, you know what: it is so good not doing anything at all sometimes !!!!
Yesterday was the last football game with the LUMES team. We ended up on a victory, it's been a nice experience, I was amazed to see everybody making so many progess in such a short time. After that, I've been to a corridor party to join Qiao and Yu Key, David was there too. Came back around 2 again... it is not serious anymore.
In an hour, I'll meet with some girls of my class, they gonna cook some chocolate cakes. Well, at least, I will learn something, and, it will force me to move my ass a bit.
Nico and Amélie are coming next tuesday for a week... can't wait to see them.
J'adore les sushis
After spending my last days reading and reading, trying to understand Hayek, Marx, Habermas and Foucaut and relate them to a study case, I finally started to write yesterday night around 22. I stayed awake til 2.30, since I noticed I was not efficient anymore. This morning, I got up at 8 and worked at the library. At 13, I was done, finished, exhausted. Social theory, you are over (et c'est tant mieux).
I drove to Yu Key's place and had dinner in her company tonite. She prepared some typical korean sushi. You know what, when you're going to the jap restaurant and you look at those small pieces of food made of rice, shrimp, carot and whatever, you think "Jeez, it must be so hard to prepare something so beautiful and so good". It is not.
After Yu Key (I call her Honey too...) showed me how to do it, I washed my hands and try to create my first sushi ever. First, you have this kind of algae (you know, this green stuff all around). You add a layer of rice everywhere (where you added first some burnt sesame sauce). On one side, you add carot, vegetables, sausage, cheese, eggs (or whatever you want. Here comes the hardest part: you need to roll it. The rice is supposed to stuck on this algae. Then, you cut in small piece, and that's it.
It was delicious. And I had a very very VERY good time. Thank you Yu Key !!!
Summer and Qiao: don't think that anything happened ;)
Silverfuck
The moustache party was kind of cool. I joined everyone at a nation, I had a big buzz. The music sucked, really, but whatever, we danced danced danced. Adrianne had a good buzz too, we finished the party together, dancing on "Fake plastic trees" from Radiohead, trying to show her how a nice french guy usually do to convince the girl...
Before that, I was invited to a dinner at Susa's place. Theo and I showed up at her place around 7.30, a lot of people were there already. Of course, we had our moustache, and the first comment we had was: "oh, you look like eighties porn stars!" Why not... The menu was very amazing, an austrian sup to start, delicious, followed by a kind of cheese mixed with oignons, vegetables, eggs and baguette. Then, everybody enjoyed a tartiflette, tipically french (that I made myself) and we finished with delicious lemon mousse. Good wines, good company, sweet place, I really enjoyed myself. Thank you
Susa!
I found a mirror yesterday. I looked at me, straight in the eyes. I saw like a lack of confidence for a moment. I saw doubts. I felt like being so down. Like I was not strong anymore.
Then I closed my eyes. I erased all those bad thoughts.
I smile again...
I smile again...
I was getting older
Love...
I'm just back from the Yellow House. We watched "L'auberge espagnole" followed by "Les poupées russes". What is love? How do you want it? Do we love only once? Should love be perfect? Is love the real mean of life?
So many questions asked in those two movies. So many questions stuck in my head. Anyway, I'm not gonna try to answer it, first it is too late, second I promised someone to be less "serious".
Xiaoqian has quite the same ideas as me about "philosophy of life". We spent few times this afternoon, under rays of light warming the air, chatting, sitting in front of the library. Maybe she'll come with me in France for Christmas. I hope so. Theo may join too.
Did I tell you Nicolas and Amélie are going to come very soon?
Is love the mean of life...???
When a mother froze her child...
Stuck at the university all day long! From 9 to 17.15. At least, my presentation is done. No class til Tuesday now, how good ! Okay okay, still this exam to finish for Monday night... Anyway, tomorrow will be my (first) day-off, my week end, my lazy time. People, please, don't bother me tomorrow.
Carol is getting closer and closer to me at home. She talks a lot about herself and start to free herself, feeling confident with me. The more she tells, the more I realize nobody in the house really know her. I know she's a bit homesick (she's from Uganda by the way), missing family, food, way of life. I promess her to take her on Malmö on saturday afternoon, I've heard there are some african food stores. We'll cook all together, I hope she'll feel a little less blue.
Lyon vs Saint-Etienne... Allez les Verts !
Saturday, 14th, moustache party !!!
North Korea has made a nuclear test and Google bought YouTube.
We've been working quite hard on the presentation. Well, at least we concluded something: Karen Warren based her thoughts on Gramsci and Nietzcshe. Hum, let's try to convince everyone tomorrow.
I wanna learn riding a horse.
I didn't remember I had this on my computer. An accoustic album of The Smashing Pumpkins ! I remember now I downloaded that just before to leave Hawaii, and in the rush of moving everything out, I never took the time to listen it. And I just dropped out of my mind that I had this jewel of rock on my laptop. I mean, come on, not knowing you have a Smashing Pumpkins on your computer, it is like forgetting you have some Nutella in the cupboard, or like not remembering that you are going to a party where this cute little blond girl will be too. What an enjoyment when you finally realize you can listen them (or eat it, or flirt with her). Right now my iTunes is playing "Today". My cousin is just starting to chat with me on MSN. He saw that
I was listening them. His favourite is "Disarm". He knows what is good. Should I say on my blog that I download sometimes..?
Is astrology a science?
Work work work...
My studies are going to kill me sooner or later. One more presentation for wednesday. My group is working on "Ecofeminism". I have to talk about the radical point of view, in other term the anti-modernist ecofeminism. You don't understand. Me neither. But whatever.
But the worse is this fu..ing take-home exam for next monday. An article about deforestation in Brazil. Different actors. Analyze the different behaviors of those actors according to Smith, Marx, Weber and Foucault. 2000 words. I'm going to have a lot of fun. This is life.
I forgot a precision in my last post. Theo and I also talked about astrology.
I've been wondering seriously those last days about how I should stop smoking. I know that I don't feel good enough to quit now. But come on!!! Do I need to feel good or bad to do this? What makes me worry is that I smoke more and more. That sucks. And I'm not rich enough to patch my beautiful tinny arms. I've been thinking about eating more Nutella, but here again, I eat already almost one pot every three days...
Addictions are hard to deal with.
I'm glad you're a girl (woman?). People around me ask me a lot of questions about you. I keep telling them this is not a big deal. They don't understand why I don't want to get to know more about you. However, keep coming sometimes...
Don't have any title today
After working on our group assignment, which is about thoughts of Karen Warren, a famous ecofeminist, Theo and I went in town to eat something. Sitting on Stortorget, we talked about few things. He told me about this french movie "La Haine" that he saw many times, then we engaged the discussion into french politic area, Ségolène, Nicolas, about the fact that socialism was certainly dead and the way we chose surely utopic and hopeless.
Later on, after buying cigarettes, we sat down in a café, enjoying the rays of sun coming threw the cold wind, having a hot chocolate with cream, we started to talk about me getting out of trouble, about some good books, criticizing Coelho, (re)talking about "The Odysseus", telling about the way my grandma was preparing hot chocolate when I was a kid (she was melting black chocolate into milk... the best ever). YuKi was riding home and saw us, she sat down with us for a while, trying to find solutions for her troubles - maybe i'll go to Copenhagen with her to the chinese embassy.
I got home and watched a movie, ate. I'm now writting this, chatting in the same time on MSN with Summer and Céline. But my connection sucks...
Yesterday, Silvia joined me for a tea at the Espresso House. We sat down on the window table, where you can see everything going on in the street. It was raining, and dark, the lights were reflecting in the paddles, two women were outside and had to move when it started raining. The crew played a sweet lounge to smooth the atmosphere. We talked about us.
Stranger... what's going on?
Coz' I'm a punkrocker, yes I am
Around 50-55 persons yesterday night at home.
Carol, Silvia, Ben and I invited some girls and guys from our respective classes, or people we got to know here. After looking for the ones totally lost in the neighbourood, waiting for the late ones, beers and wines warmed up the atmosphere. People everywhere in the house: kitchen crowded, impossible to walk threw the living room, even my room was filled with my VIP guests (lol).
People were having a good time I guess, small music smoothing the minds. I went out smoking two or three cigarettes, talking to people I didn't even know, giving the tour of the house, degusting (???) my Guiness. And then, Philip arrived...
Two weeks ago was the birthday's party of my roomate Silvia, and, Philip and I, planned to play a song for her, his guitar, my bass and us. Unfortunately, the party never happened, because of some health problems for Silvia. So, I said "let's do it on friday night, there will be more people, it's gonna be perfect". Yep, easy to say, but when you see all the people, you think "I'm never gonna make it..."
I've never played like this before, for people. But whatever, I drunk too much beers, plugged in my amp, jack in the bass, "hi guys, we've got a surprise for Silvia!". And here we go.
The first song is from Bloc Party, and I'm supposed to sing in the meantime. I'm so stressed that I don't know how my fingers start playing. We're in, we rock!
"I caught a glimpse, but it's been forgotten..."
People are quite enthusiastic, Silvia is almsot crying, I close my eyes, I let it go, my fingers playing alone, I feel good.
Our second song, from the 80's, Roxette with "Sleeping in my car". We can't really sing, so we let people do it for us. It's cool.
And the last song... We thought that we needed a song that everybody knew... What a better one than "All the small things" from Blink 182. It is easy to play, I totally free myself, even jump, sing. We rock !!!!!!
And the dream is over, I just made my first show. Woohoo.
This morning, hangover, football game (won at the penalty kicks), clean the house. I'll study later.
Thanks to everyone for coming yesterday. Cheers !
Mal de crâne en perspective
Tonite is the night... We expect 60, maybe more, persons at the house for a huge party all night long (I mean, til the cops come). That's going to be something.
Wish me good luck...
So... no deal???
Allez DSK
Tocqueville and the Liberty of association, 2 pages. Does someone has an idea, because I don't.
All right, I read the whole article that the teacher left us, I see clearer now. The article is
here for those who are interested (it is actually very interesting, it explains why associations were working in US in the 1830's but not in Europe).
Now, Let's see what Gramsci has to say about it, why not making a comparison... Usch.
Oh, and also, the
LUMES website, if what I do can interest you.
Dear Stranger, for now I don't want to get to know you. Anyway, I have a picture of you.
I would say you are in your 30's and you're someone cultivated (I like the way you write and explain things, very well organized - I wish my english was that good). I still hesitate about your sexe, but I would say you're a male (but not sure). Because you found my blog, you're someone who likes surfing the web, meaning you have time to do it, or it is a real passion (or you have nothing else to do at work). I imagine you as a single person, living in the rush of a big city. You have a cat. Your way to give tips is sometimes bothering me because we don't know each other, but I have to admit I take them in consideration, meaning you are possibly right. You like drinking red wine. You listen a lot of music, very diversified (from classical to indie rock). And that's all I imagine about you.
All right, I deal. Anyway, I don't want to know you for now. There is just something I'd like to discover... Male or female? So, deal?
Cheers
Feeling better...
All right, today is a new day.
Thank you to my new family, the LUMES class, to make me smile, to give me some reasons, to make me feel better, even if I don't talk that much about what's going on in my life, you are just there, supporting. I know that I'll have the opportunity to give you back this on day or another. I know it is here I feel good now, sharing good times with all of you guys.
Today, I realized that's gonna be alright for sure.
Friday nite, party at my place. Bring friends and beers !
Special thank you to Summer, my little chinese friend, who is always there to tell me crazy stories about her, when she looses important papers everywhere, or whatever. It was what I needed yesterday night. Summer, you are my favourite !!!!
And tonite, you know what, I'll come and play and kick their ass... HAHAHAHAHA !!!!!
The end has no end
What a sad day !
My too short week-end ended up this morning. The big rush from saturday night and yesterday left a fucking huge hole of melancoly, like when you watch a movie and you love it, but when it finishes, you wanna cry, you have a taste of bitterness in your mouth. I was quite lost at home, not knowing what to do, what to discuss about. And this morning, when my mother cried, it got worse. I took my trains, planes etc being happy to come back. I am back. But here is the same feeling, boring feeling. I don't know how to deal with everything, I wanna cry, I am not sure if I am going to make it this time. I am sitting here, it is 20.19, and I have nothing to do. And even if I had something to do, I don't think I would make it.
I am very lost.
Where are you ??? I noticed this week end that things have definitly changed... (that I have definitly changed)
I wish I could close my eyes and come back and switch mistakes with right actions.
I am cying now.
Stay out of trouble,Stay in touch,Try not to think about me too much. Kings of convenience
Tomorrow will be another day, I hope...
Douce France, cher pays de mon enfance
Week-end in France, for my sister's birthday (turned 18). Family, friends and red wine, loud laughts, long chats and terrible hangover. This sensation, emotion inside, to meet people that are part of your life, your personnality feels very good.
I guess I'm less melo today, but still...
Marie-Hélène, what about a fika tuesday afternoon... I guess we need to figure out things about storm and shitty rain. And I guess we both need someone to rely on, so... let's be crazy and do it !
I'll wake up at 6 tomorrow, and leave to take train, bus, plane and finally car to get back home. Shit!
