The problem with a girl named Honesty...
Hard time, really hard time.
And 'honesty', let's talk about it.
If I am honest, I am true to myself, right? But in return, being honest can hurt others.
If I am not honest, I am not true to myself, right? But in return, it is sometimes better to hide a few things in order to not hurt people.
Tough choice... who to hurt: yourself or others?
So, I decided to be honest anyway, as it wasn't such a big mess already!
And right now, I am tired, and I can't fu..ing focus on my thesis, I am losing it.
So close from the end, I am so close from the end... why?
I wish I had faith in something...
Demon
After 'Angel', here comes 'Demon'...
'The demon
Running into my blood
Spreading inside my veins
Making me see things in different light
Thanks to the wine
I'm building up this new thing
Thanks to...'
This is a song by Laakso, that I really love, and it's about the fact that he diserved to get wasted tonite, coz it's friday. Well, I think I do too, and thanks to my 'demon' apparently.
Anyho...
I came early this morning to study, I'm at the univ. And I haven't started yet... And I forgot my phone home. That sucks. I feel like my arm is missing, it has become so addicitve that I can't even spend a couple of hours without. Well, usually I can, but not today. What a shame!
Listening today:
The Libertines
Smashing Pumpkins
Laakso (obviously)
Téléphone (because it's the only way to get me in the mood a friday night)
PS: thanks to my readers (now I know I have at least two again :) )
Angel
Those two weeks I am living are really challenging. Both in good and bad.
My feelings are quite messed up, I don't know where to put my focus on, and I don't know if I should restrain what's inside of me. On one hand, I know myself and I know how I can be emotional and impulsive (can be a bad mixture!) and do things that are not good for me, and so, I keep it up inside me and remain patient. On the other hand, I feel like going in a field and scream out loud my hapiness, my sadness, and free all those emotions and impulsivity, and tell what I wanna tell.
And after all, maybe it was an angel sent to me... If it is, thank you.
Lost in transcription
Boring day! I am transcribing the interviews I made back in France. Headphones on, laptop playing some recordings at 60% speed (I already hated my voice, but played slower, oh my god!) and my fingers which type and type again... Well, it is shitty work, but necessary.
China is boycoitting France, because of the mess we made for the Olympics. I don't really know where to stand in this event. On one hand, I am really pissed at what China is doing in Tibet (when I say China, I mean the authorities, not the people) and I think protests are necessary. But on the other hand, should protests interfer with a sportive event, one of the oldest event still celebrated? And what is even more troubling is that once more it's in France the troubles started. Are we gonna be for ever the trouble makers, the strikers, the protesters? It's not helping our image abroad unfortunately, and that makes me wanna puke. So yes, I can understand the boycott, and I can understand the protests against China, but I can't understand being judged for things I don't even know what to think about. There are some days, I really wish I was not from France. can I be from Europe instead?
I guess I'm still upside-down from saturday night party... My stomach still feels weird. What is it, really? Anyway, I liked being there, I liked the conversations, I liked the conversation, and I liked everything that happened. Jeez....
Listening today:
SOMA FM - Indie Pop-RockThe Editors
Camera Obscura
... And you will know us by the trail of dead
+/- Plus/Minus
Stomachache
My stomach feels weird today. Where does it come from? Sweden, Argentina or from the SystemBolaget?
Anyway, my stomach feels weird!
A day at the library
It's 17:00. I spent my day at the library, since 9:00 this morning (which makes it a 7hours working day counting breaks).
I am finally able to get my head out of the break-up think and focus on my thesis. It finally starts to look like 'a master thesis', and that makes me feel good. I still have a long way to go, but I'm almost done with the first twenty crappy pages of theoritical background. It is soooo boring, but so useful.
Now, I just need to get my brain on, and start to analyze the whole thing.
Well, it feels good.
Now, going back home (?), gonna lay down in the sofa. Later, ice hockey final and maybe a beer while playing pool at Vildanden pub.
Want to:
- eat a cookie
- take a leak (very urgent)
- play poker
Probably listening later:
Architecture in Helsinky
Yo La Tengo
The Killers
New start #2
What was supposed to happen happened.
I'm happy and sad.
Happy, because it's a relief. We were under pressure all the time, things were not going good at all and we were hurting each other. I know it is the right decision. Also happy because what I maybe need is a real new start.
Sad, because it's been a nice piece of life. And it's always hard to take the decision to stop being with someone you love.
And now I’m here, all alone
Staring at some shitty photographs
I miss those golden times
These drunken nights on wine
Still I’m only twenty four
Still I’m only twenty four
RHESUS
Want to listen to:
Camera Obscura
The Clash (Train in Vain)
JL Aubert
Shout Out Loud
New start
It's been a little while I've felt like writting again on this blog. After a year of nothing. What a shame!
I took my decision something like 2 min ago when I checked the blog of another friend. I hadn't done it for many month. It felt pretty good seeing that she was still updating sometimes her virtual space.
Winter has been long as far as I can tell and I am really looking forward the spring, I mean, the real spring. Lund is cold and windy, not too much rain though (who could believe that actually?) It seems the grey atmosphere is following me in every parts of my life. And the damn thesis due 25 of May is killing me. Anyho, everything will be fine sooner or later...
I am organizing our graduation dinner/party/farewell that will happen 13 of June, a friday. Some says it's bad luck, some other says, it's good luck. I say: man, France is playing Italy the 13th of June! Why is the graduation ceremony that day!
Alright, just kidding, I wouldn't miss this event! In France, such things are not usual, and to tell the truth, that will be my first official ceremony. I guess I'm as excited as a 18 yo boy getting out of highschool (finally!) and gets to the real world.
But eh, the real world for me, it's going to be another story.... And no, i don't wanna go back studying in France.
See you
Listening recently:
Kate Nash
shout out Loud
MGMT ('Time to pretend' especially)
