I was waiting for you
Being the guide, the one who organize, it is exhausting.In addition of taking care of my guests, organizing our schedules according to the plans (that i most of the time make), I need also to care about my own things, like bank, other administrative stuffs, visiting family and friends, get the car ready.
Today showed me how it is hard to manage all those things, think about every details, from which way to go to Paris to not forget my teethbrush, from wondering how we all gonna get to Charles de Gaulle airport to charge my iPod, from making my friends happy to remember taking a bottle of water in the car.
It is exhausting.
It is hard to be a good friend, isn't it?
The smiles I got back are enought for me. Making people happy, or at least less lonely, less melo, taking them out of their routine (and in the meantime of mine) is providing me what I need. When others feel great, then I'm okay... just okay.
Sometimes I wish I was still in Hawaii, living on the top of this lovely hill, in Pupukea. The radio is on, it's KTUH playing a good jazz, I got out on the patio, seat on a sunchair, light a cigarette. Some crazy birds are singing, the sun is warming my skin up and the wind just makes me shivering sometimes. Later, I'll take the Dodge and go to the beach for a while, snorkeling with turtles. I will meet some friends, we'll drink a beer or two, sing songs. I'll go back home, watch a movie, the window open to cool the atmosphere. I have nothing to care about but just myself, no plans but mine, no schedule coz it's my day-off. A kind of hypocrit life where he only one on the center of my preoccupations is me.
But it's not myself. I need to do things for them.
After LUMES, I'll go to Africa.
Jeez, that was a late night thought, wasn't it?
written by lolo/ @ 01:00
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